Managers can make or break your career, so maintaining a good relationship with them can define your career trajectory within an organisation. It can accelerate progression and overall make your work-life much easier, but what happens when your relationship with your manager breaks down and work becomes unnecessarily difficult? It can be really demoralising if you feel that you’re always being overlooked for promotions, misunderstood or lacking recognition for the work you’re doing and sometimes a difficult conversation is necessary to address ongoing issues that are stifling your progression. I’ve spoken to senior leaders and professionals to gather a few tips on how to navigate a difficult relationship with a manager to ensure a positive outcome.
Identify the problem
Before approaching your manager it’s important to identify the problem you want to address. Understanding what the issues are and providing examples will help streamline your conversation. The last thing you want to do is go off on a tangent and not have a common thread of all the points you want to make. Clarity is key when having discussions with your manager. Knowing exactly what the challenges are and offering solutions will not only help to resolve them quickly but also show ownership and accountability.
Check in with others
If you have a mentor or a colleague you hold in high esteem, it’s worth getting their support and perspective on how to best handle having difficult discussions in the workplace. It’s likely that they’ve been through this before and are able to share advice. Speaking to someone you trust will help you look at the problem(s) with a different lens and also give you the support you need to go through it.
Write it down
I can be a nervous wreck when having a difficult conversation with someone. I get really nervous and lose my train of thought and just end up mumbling and stuttering. Writing a script that I can read word for word helps me to feel more confident. It can also help to control your emotions and approach the conversation with tact. One of the perks of working remotely is being able to read a script on a Zoom call without another person knowing. However, if it’s an in-person conversation, I suggest memorising the script or writing down key words to trigger discussion points.
Own it
Whatever the subject matter of the difficult discussion, it’s important that you feel confident and comfortable throughout the process. The conversation should not only help to mend your relationship with your manager, it should also make the day to day less strained. So it’s important that you own it and show initiative in wanting to make your working relationship as seamless as possible. This is your career so take control of it and do not be afraid.
See you in my next post!
